How Toxic Masculinity Enables Oppression

“In our world, boys are not born violent, entitled, or emotionless—society teaches them to be. And we call that masculinity.”

In a country devoured by the flames of patriarchy and outdated notions of tradition and culture, the distorted idea of masculinity is visible at every level. But what really is masculinity? If you google it, it defines it as “qualities or attributes regarded as characteristic of men.” In simpler terms, it is everything someone identifying as male uses to express their gender. And in today’s world, those expressions span a shocking range from something as mundane as wearing pants to something as dangerous as using violence to assert dominance. Which brings us back to the age-old question: What makes someone a Man?

What indeed? How do we recognize a “man” in his so-called natural habitat? What comes to mind when you hear the word? Short hair. Pants. Deep voice. Muscles. Aggression. Mischief. Loudness. Dominance. Assertiveness. These are the traits, often unconsciously, used to label someone a man. A man must be powerful, athletic, and competitive. He must reject anything remotely “feminine,” especially emotions other than anger. He must lead, control and stay independent at all costs. These are the general markers we associate with masculinity. But let’s dig deeper. Which of these traits is universal? Which of these are things young boys grow up believing they must embody to be a “real man”? And should someone’s identity be defined so narrowly by society? Do these rigid definitions come without consequence?

Here’s reality : these very characteristics, glorified as “manly,” have brewed a toxic concoction of oppression. Young boys spend their lives chasing an identity that was already theirs, while grown men, fearful of losing that identity, lash out violently. Perhaps this sounds idealistic, even simplistic, but pause for a moment and reflect. The socialization of masculinity teaches boys to reject the feminine, to be tough and aggressive, to suppress every emotion but anger, to distance themselves from intimacy with other men, and to measure worth in competition, power, and dominance. At the core of traditional masculinity lie anti-femininity and homophobia.

Take domestic violence as an example. Why does it occur? Surveys point to one common reason: entitlement. A desperate need for control and absolute authority. Are these not direct outcomes of what we’ve defined masculinity to be? We glorify the idea that a man must be a provider, powerful and unyielding, and then turn a blind eye to the aftermath of this dangerous myth. The ripple effects extend beyond men themselves, shaping how women are treated in a patriarchal society. Discrimination and oppression of women aren’t caused by toxic masculinity alone, but this mindset that a human must “prove” themselves worthy of identity through aggression and dominance, certainly enables it.

If a child is taught that his identity can be stripped away unless he behaves a certain way, aggressive, careless, disrespectful, then this country will always remain a place where daughters live in fear, and where every human feels inadequate in their own skin. The solution is not complicated. Teach young minds better, and they will build the society we can only dream of, a society built on acceptance, not conformity. A society where being human is enough.